25 Reasons You Might Be a Liberal

[DiversityDriven]

John Hawkins :: Townhall.com :: 25 Reasons You Might Be a Liberal

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, you just might be a liberal if...

* You're sure the Constitution explicitly guarantees the right to abortion and gay marriage, but not the right to own a handgun.

* You think Dan Quayle is the dumbest Vice-President we ever had because he believed a flash card that misspelled "potato," but think Obama is a genius despite the fact he believes we have more than 57 states.

* You'd be more upset about your favorite candidate being endorsed by the NRA than the Communist Party.

* You think the same criminals who use guns in the commission of a crime will just hand them over to comply with the law if guns are made illegal.

* You know that 86% of all income taxes are paid by the top 25% of income earners and you still feel that the rich "aren't paying their fair share of the taxes."

* You put a higher priority on oil pipelines possibly inconveniencing a few caribou than you do on lowering the price of gas for everyone in the country by drilling ANWR.

* You're worried that Osama Bin Laden might not get a fair trial if we capture him, but want George Bush thrown in prison for being too zealous in protecting us from Al-Qaeda.

* You get infuriated when you hear about the CEO of a Fortune 500 company making tens of millions of dollars, but don't see a problem with an actor, basketball player, or trial lawyer making the same amount.

* You're constantly seeing subtle, coded racism in campaign ads, but see nothing racist about blacks being promoted over more qualified white applicants because of Affirmative Action.

* You think it's obscene that oil companies are allowed to make 8.3 cents per gallon in profit with gas prices this high, but would never suggest cutting the 13 cents per gallon they pay on taxes to reduce the price of gas.

* You think George Bush is a chickenhawk because he wanted to fight in Iraq and Afghanistan despite the fact that he only served in the National Guard, but you don't think the same about Barack Obama, who has never served in the military and probably couldn't find either country on a map without help.

* You think protesting outside of abortion clinics is extremism and should be illegal, but carrying around giant puppet heads while wearing a t-shirt that compares Bush to Hitler is just exercising your First Amendment rights.

* You think the case for global warming is proven without a shadow of a doubt, but that we need another century or two worth of evidence to figure out if capitalism and free markets work better than socialism.

* You believe the best way to fix the government screwing something up in the market is with...drumroll, please...more government intervention.

* You think the first thing we should have done when Russia invaded Georgia was to take the matter to the United Nations, where Russia sits on the UN Security Council.

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[Sabz5150]

Originally stated by DiversityDriven

John Hawkins :: Townhall.com :: 25 Reasons You Might Be a Liberal

The DiversityDriven Daily Dreck! W00t! Fun time!

With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, you just might be a liberal if...

My apologies go out to... nobody!

* You're sure the Constitution explicitly guarantees the right to abortion and gay marriage, but not the right to own a handgun.

Fail. Right off the bat. Any true liberal knows what the Constitution says. Remember, we love to point out the numerous violations of that document, so it really helps to know its contents. For the guns, there's a part just for that!

* You think Dan Quayle is the dumbest Vice-President we ever had because he believed a flash card that misspelled "potato," but think Obama is a genius despite the fact he believes we have more than 57 states.

Nice stab at Bam. Wouldn't have that right wing zing without it! However it is funny to mention that you're comparing a misspoken statement to something that is solidly believed. However, I don't hear much about Quayle.

* You'd be more upset about your favorite candidate being endorsed by the NRA than the Communist Party.

Again with the fail. Righties love to toss the "Communist" jab in there as well... brings back that good ol Cold War feeling. You know... the one where all the missiles got pointed at each other. Yeah, only you guys would want to bring back those memories.

* You think the same criminals who use guns in the commission of a crime will just hand them over to comply with the law if guns are made illegal.

Another wonderful right-wing smear tactic. Don't remember where that was ever mentioned... except by your side.

* You know that 86% of all income taxes are paid by the top 25% of income earners and you still feel that the rich "aren't paying their fair share of the taxes."

Numbers, please? Last time I checked, many of the "rich" don't pay taxes. Has something to do with 'loopholes' and 'offshore accounts'. Things such as outsourcing help this.

* You put a higher priority on oil pipelines possibly inconveniencing a few caribou than you do on lowering the price of gas for everyone in the country by drilling ANWR.

Little known fact, Sanchez. We have reduced our oil consumption by 800,000 barrels (per annum, given conservation flatlines NOW). The amount you'd pull out of ANWR would be 200,000 barrels (per annum) after approximately fifteen to twenty years. Our ideas saved money and dropped prices NOW. Your ideas would not even cover our needed yearly increase in consumption.

The whole tire inflation thing proved this. Odd how Fox just stopped talking about tire gauges when the numbers came out.

* You're worried that Osama Bin Laden might not get a fair trial if we capture him, but want George Bush thrown in prison for being too zealous in protecting us from Al-Qaeda.

You don't want Sammy to get a trial. Sorry, this is America... we will NOT let the terrorists destroy our way of life. He will get a fair trial in a court of law JUST LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

* You get infuriated when you hear about the CEO of a Fortune 500 company making tens of millions of dollars, but don't see a problem with an actor, basketball player, or trial lawyer making the same amount.

Where is that said? We get mad when the money is extorted (read: Enron, Bear Stearns, JP Morgan)

* You're constantly seeing subtle, coded racism in campaign ads, but see nothing racist about blacks being promoted over more qualified white applicants because of Affirmative Action.

Well, first off the subtle racism is there... and it's not so subtle.

Secondly, AA needs to go. True liberals do not believe anyone is "more equal" than another.

* You think it's obscene that oil companies are allowed to make 8.3 cents per gallon in profit with gas prices this high, but would never suggest cutting the 13 cents per gallon they pay on taxes to reduce the price of gas.

Helps to show your numbers. Obviously this guy didn't. Snipping what the OIL COMPANIES pay will not adjust the gas prices WE pay. They'll simply make higher profits.

* You think George Bush is a chickenhawk because he wanted to fight in Iraq and Afghanistan despite the fact that he only served in the National Guard, but you don't think the same about Barack Obama, who has never served in the military and probably couldn't find either country on a map without help.

Nice strawman. First off, I am quite certain Bam could find said countries on the map (having visited them). However wasn't it McCain that suggested that Iraq and Pakistan share a border? Who isn't knowing their geography now?

Also, look up "chickenhawk". Helps to know the definition. War isn't our bag, so we don't play armchair commander much.

* You think protesting outside of abortion clinics is extremism and should be illegal, but carrying around giant puppet heads while wearing a t-shirt that compares Bush to Hitler is just exercising your First Amendment rights.

Never said that, either. Generalization makes this so sensational!!!

* You think the case for global warming is proven without a shadow of a doubt, but that we need another century or two worth of evidence to figure out if capitalism and free markets work better than socialism.

Right now, that answer is no. Again, your "free market" gave us the Enrons, Tycos, Morgans, Fannies and Freddies that we're having to bail out at mass expense.

* You believe the best way to fix the government screwing something up in the market is with...drumroll, please...more government intervention.

What the government screwed up was reducing their intervention. Again, you miss the mark!

* You think the first thing we should have done when Russia invaded Georgia was to take the matter to the United Nations, where Russia sits on the UN Security Council.

And McCain thought we should have gone in and kicked ass... just like his Georgian lobbyist suggested.

I'll be here all week. Try the steak, it's excellent!

[Fatal_Freedoms]

Our fear of communism has caused as much tragedy as communism itself. It's nice to see people are still throwing the "commie" word out there at anyone who doesn't share right-wing views.

[Liberator_Rev]

Originally stated by DiversityDriven

"you just might be a liberal if...
* You think Dan Quayle is the dumbest Vice-President we ever had because he believed a flash card that misspelled "potato," but think Obama is a genius despite the fact he believes we have more than 57 states."

A CONSERVATIVE is someone who can't honestly represent the views of rivals, as in when and where did Obama say we have more than 57 states?"
A CONSERVATIVE is someone who can't honestly represent the views of his heroes, as in the case of Republican Vice President Dan Quayle who was caught on camera telling a grade school kid who had correctly spelled a word on the blackboard that he should mis-spell it to suit him.
Far from being the only reason to consider Quale "the dumbest Vice-President we ever had", unlike Conservatives, Liberals found it embarrassing to have the next in line to be president a man who said all of the following :

Originally stated by Dan_Quale

• "The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." o Senator Dan Quayle, 9/15/88 (reported in Esquire, 8/92, The New Yorker, 10/10/88, p.102)
  
• "Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." Senator Dan Quayle, 10/30/88 (reported in Esquire, 8/92 and the LA Times, 10/30/88)
  
• "Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island that is right here." Vice President Dan Quayle, Hawaii, 4/25/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
  
• "What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." Source: (USA Today 5/10/89)
  
• "We are on an irreversible trend towards more freedom and democracy - but that could change." Vice President Dan Quayle, Hawaii, 5/22/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
  
• "Mars is essentially in the same orbit...Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." Vice President Dan Quayle, Hawaii, 8/11/89 (interview broadcast on CNN, referenced in 9/1/89 Washington Post article: "A Quayle Vision of Mars")
  
• "One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." December 6, 1993, This source "Vice President Dan Quayle, Hawaii, 12/6/89 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)" has "Governor" replaced with "vice president".
  
• "For NASA, space is still a high priority." Vice President Dan Quayle, talking to NASA employees, 9/5/90 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
  
• "We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." Vice President Dan Quayle talking about the Mideast situation, 9/22/90 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
  
• "I have been asked who caused the riots and the killing in LA, my answer has been direct & simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame." Vice President Dan Quayle (during the Commonwealth Club speech 5/19/92)
  
• "Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it." Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/20/92 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)

[Fatal_Freedoms]

Actually the right to gay marriage is guaranteed by the constitution.

[Drnaline]

Originally stated by Fatal_Freedoms

Actually the right to gay marriage is guaranteed by the constitution.

Show me where, exactly it says that?

[Fatal_Freedoms]

Originally stated by Drnaline

Show me where, exactly it says that?

9th amendment.

It is also mentioned in the Declaration of Independence.

[Drnaline]

Originally stated by Fatal_Freedoms

9th amendment.

It is also mentioned in the Declaration of Independence.

Would it be to much trouble for you to quote what you believe says that? To my knowledge, gays are not mentioned anywhere in the Constitution or Declaration? It's hard to guarantee where your not even mentioned.

[Fatal_Freedoms]

Originally stated by Drnaline

Would it be to much trouble for you to quote what you believe says that? To my knowledge, gays are not mentioned anywhere in the Constitution or Declaration? It's hard to guarantee where your not even mentioned.

“[t]he enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.” On its face, this provision seems to mean that a right is worthy of judicial protection even if it is not listed in the Constitution. To fail to protect these “other” unenumerated rights “retained by the people” in the same manner that we protect the enumerated rights would surely be to “disparage” them if not to “deny” their existence altogether.

Justice Arthur Goldberg took a power‐constraint approach in his concurring opinion in Griswold v. Connecticut (1965)—an opinion that did much to revive interest in the Ninth Amendment: “[W]here fundamental personal liberties are involved, they may not be abridged by the States simply on a showing that a regulatory statute has some rational relationship to the effectuation of a proper state purpose”


freedom of contract: Definition from Answers.com